first blog post! hello!!! i have no idea what to write. i’ve been meaning to start treating this place as a public diary of sorts ever since i finished the website, but i guess my adhd had different plans for me. LOL

it’s currently winter break, and spring semester is supposed to start on the 26th (if i’m remembering correctly). that is exactly 2 weeks from now. i’m not too excited, considering how tired i’ve been lately and how my schedule looks akin to something that could be used as a torture method. on wednesdays, i’ll have a morning class as well as a class from 6-9pm, meaning that i will effectively be stuck on campus all day. this was the only schedule that i could register for, and the class in question is required for my degree. :( at least i’ll finally be able to see my friends!

my sleep schedule has been awful for well over a week now...i can’t help but doze off during the day and then be unable to sleep at night. i’ve been trying so hard to fix it but nothing has been working!!! maybe i’ll finally be able to do it today, if i’m able to stay awake up until nighttime.

in terms of work, i don’t have much to do at the moment. my only current tasks are college club related (given that i am their manager) plus two owed art pieces, but that’s about it. i don’t want to do either...

the past couple days have been especially rough, but that might just be because i started taking a new medication which is supposed to help with my adhd. i was supposed to start taking it a couple months ago - up until last week i didn’t want to do so at all, but then i spiraled out of guilt. for some reason, i have unhealthy amounts of empathy towards inanimate objects, which often makes it difficult for me to do things such as throw away garbage or leave my meals unfinished. i felt terrible that i would eventually have to throw away the pills if i didn’t take them...especially since they could’ve potentially helped somebody else instead. i spent an hour or so reorganizing all my pill bottles (while making sure that all the doses and expiration dates lined up), and came up with a plan for me to ease myself into them based on the research i did. so far, i haven’t forgotten to take any of them. regardless, my overall poor mood may just be a side effect of having to adjust to these changes.

the discord server i own has been rather quiet lately, which makes me a lot more anxious than it probably should. it is the one single place in which i feel connected to other people, since i only have one friend who i feel close to. yesterday, i had a breakdown because of this. i feel a little better now, and i'm hoping that the server can become more active again soon.

lastly - genshin impact’s preload leaks came out last night. i have been waiting for the 6.3 archon quest textmaps for quite a long time now, and i am very disappointed at what they turned out to be. quite frankly, i don’t enjoy this game at all and haven’t felt invested in any of its lore or characters since the release of fontaine; the only reason i kept playing was dottore, and now that he’s presumably gone, i’m not sure if there’s anything keeping me from selling my account other than my sister. maybe someday.

i’ll probably spend the rest of today listening to music (and maybe coming up with ideas for ymr) - i only got 1 hour of sleep, so i’m far too tired to do any actual work. my head hurts. i hope i’ll get some proper sleep tonight...